書本的最後幾張討論到孩子的序列
因為習慣性的小不留神,長女被tiger mom大罵
意外提醒tiger mom從沒注意到長女的青春期或者反抗期
因為長女總是聽他的話,照他的安排,讓他從來不知道原來大女兒也跟老二一樣有過反抗

因為大女兒忘了關通向院子的門,讓兩隻狗衝進來把米袋弄破
家裡亂七八糟,兩隻狗也誤食了生米
虎媽回家看到馬上瘋狂大罵,以下對話於是產生

"The dynamic in this household is ridiculous,"Sophia Protested. "I do all the work, and I do everything you say, and I make one mistake and you scream at me. Lulu (二女兒) doesn't do anything you say. She talks back to you and throws things. You bribe her with presents. What kind of 'Chinese mother' are you?"

(虎媽自己的思路)

There are lots of exception of course, but this pattern--model first kid, rebellious second-- is definitely one I've noticed in many families, especially immigrant families.

"As you know, Sophia, I'm having trouble with Lulu," I conceded. "What worked with you isn't working with her. It's a mess"


"Oh...don't worry, Ma," Sophia said, her voice suddenly kind. "It's just a stage. It's awful to be thirteen--I was miserable. But things will get better."


虎媽這時財經決自己或者很多亞州父母一心要孩子努力在努力
卻很少著墨在心靈這一塊,或者試著去發覺孩子在青春期的困難

"Sophia," I said, "you're just like I was in my family: the oldest, the one that everyone counts on and no one has to worry about. It's an honor to play that role. The problem is that Western culture doesn't see it that way. In Disney movies, the 'good daughter'always has to have a breakdown and realize that life is not all about following rules and winning prizes, and then take off her clothes and run into the ocean or something like that. But that's just Disney's way of appealing to all the people who never win any prizes. Winning prizes gives you opportunities, and that's freedom-- not running into the ocean."

虎媽自己一方面很得意演說/精神喊話,一方面卻很心疼大女兒
但是虎媽的驕傲和強勢,又讓他無法放軟自己的身段
最後他幫女兒掃一掃,但是還是要很酷的說,"我幫你掃,你需要時間練琴。"


看到他跟女兒說得那一大段話,眼淚在眼眶裡打轉
講得其實也不是全無道理
只是很多亞洲家庭沒在情感這一塊多加照顧,
往往孩子最後成就很高,但是代價卻是親子疏離

現代亞洲這樣的家庭可能沒那麼多了
只是很多時候會在移民家庭看到吧
畢竟在另一個國家,總是希望更加鞭策孩子,絕對要當人上人


還有那個順序之說,在我身上也頗明顯
我真的就是那個爸媽說什麼我會乖乖去做的人
連一點小事都怕被爸媽罵
我妹就比較自在豁達一點
這個或許在不少家庭還是有這樣的現象嘍~
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